The Death Eater Club
by Catspee
Summary: My version of what being a Death Eater was like. The Deater Eater Club, held by Voldemort...


The Death Eater Club

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and so none of it's characters is mine. The music mentioned in this story is not mine, and belongs to the creator. This is the disclaimer for the whole story. Oh, and credits to Lady Jasmine Snape for the two Darkess characters in the story.

Chapter 1

It was a dark place with a a bunch of tables around filled with people at its seats. At the first and middle table, sat a menace.

His name was Voldemort, and he was complementing how well his Death Eaters have done.

"And now with all of today's work finish with a wonderful job... party time!" cried Voldemort as Slipknot music started playing (I am hated).

Death Eaters cheered and started partying as drinks and drugs came around.

Voldemort smiled, party time was one of his favorite things in the world.

Snape was dancing with Lucius.

"Man, good thing I joined Voldemort," said Snape.

"Told 'ya you should of. The guy is feared yet is cool," said Lucius.

"Hey, you think I can score a chick?' asked Snape.

"Nah, I think I can though," said Lucius.

"Yeah, because you got that bitch," said Snape.

"Shut the fuck up, Darkess dissed you way down," said Lucius.

"Bring it on, BITCH!" cried Snape as he got into a fist fight with Lucius.

"Yeah! KICK HIS ASS!" cried a few Death Eaters as they watched the fight.

"ENOUGH!" cried Voldemort, it was getting enjoyable but it would get too crazy. "Crucio," he then said as he pointed his want at Lucius, and then with Snape. "You can have sex, drink, do drugs and flirt! BUT DAMMIT, DON'T FIGHT! I payed a lot for these tables and chairs. I certainly don't feel like cleaning up after yourselves."

"Yes master!" cried the Death eaters.

"Nice way to tell them off Voldemort," said Bellatrix as she touched Voldemort's ass.

"Oh screw it. Bellatrix, your reward tonight is sex... with me," said Voldemort as the both of them walked off into a room.

"I can't belive Snape was in a fist fight with Lucius," said Yasmin Darkess, a long dark brown haired with brown eyes death eater with black robes.

"Yeah, he totally flipped when he saw that you were pregnant," said Mr. Darkess, a death eater with brown hair and blue eyes with dark red robes.

"Yeah, who the hell told him I wasn't married?" asked Yasmin as she rubbed her pregnant belly.

"No idea honestly," Mr. Darkess answered.

The party raged on as Voldemort came back downstairs with Bella.

Soon Snape and Lucius woke up and sighed.

"One day I will score Darkess," said Snape.

"Shut the fuck up, honestly man," said Lucius. "Hey! There's my hottie right now!" Lucius then walked up to Narcissa.

"Oh... hey Lucius," said Narcissa sexily.

"Oh god, I'm going to be sick to my stomach," said Snape as he watched his best friend and his girlfriend.

"You wanna go do it?" asked Lucius.

"Sorry man, I'm having my period. I don't think your wang would appreciate that, perhaps sometime later?" asked Narcissa.

"GODDAMMIT WHY IS IT SO HARD TO PICK HER UP?" cried Lucius as he cried dramatically.

"Dunno, but keep trying I guess," said Snape. (Did I mention nearly everyone is in their young 20's? Except Voldemort of course)

"Perhaps you are right, friend," said Lucius. "There's plenty of girls around you know... take Bella-" Lucius was then crucio'd.

"I had sex with her Lucius, my dear pal. I want no one to do the same until I find someone else who is good in bed. GOT THAT SEVERUS?" asked Voldemort as he pointed his wand at Snape.

"Yes master," said Snape as he kissed Voldemort's robes.

"Good," said Voldemort as he got a whiskey and started heavily drinking it.

Soon Voldemort got drunk, and he felt everything was weird. He got up and started singing.

"WE ARE THE PULSE OF THE MAGGOTS!" he cried.

Death Eaters roared, as they too were drunk.

Voldemort then started slapping Death Eater's asses, not caring if they were a boy or girl, hell, they all liked it.

"I AM A CREATURE BEFORE I CAN STAND!" cried Voldemort as he then saw naked girls stripping and dementors drinking.

Snape looked at Voldemort, and sighed. He was drunk, and when Voldemort was drunk he did the craziest things. Man, did Snape love this place and to think people hated Voldemort.

And there Wormtail stood, poking everyone and biting people.

"THIS PARTY ROCKS! WHO WANTS TO GET IT ON WITH WORMTAIL THE RAT?" he screamed out loud for the whole party to hear.

"Sorry mate, I don't do rats," said Yasmin Darkess. "Are you transexual in any way, perhaps?"

"... No," said Wormtail as he then got naked.

Voldemort saw this, and then gave Wormtail crucio.

"NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR UGLY ASS PENISE!" he screamed as he started dancing like crazy.

The party continued to rage on with drunk cries and stuff, untilthe music then stopped showing that it was 5 AM in the morning, and death eaters started leaving.

"Bye Voldemort!" they cried as the left.

Voldemort, with a hangoever sighed. He had to clean this up with a spell, but he decided to make his house elf do it.

"House elf, go do this crap," Voldemort said. Then before Snape left.

"SNAPE!" screamed Voldemort, Snape ran towards the Dark Lord.

"Hangoever potion, now," demanded Voldemort. Snape quickly then got his hangoever potion to the dark lord.

"You know Snape, I think I may let you score a chick at the next party time," said Voldemort. "These hangoever potions are excellent."

"I welcome you my lord," said Snape as he kissed Voldemort's robes and left.

Voldemortdrank the potion and went into his bed as his house elf cleaned up the mess downstairs. He then fell asleep.

End of Chapter 1


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